What I Learned from "The Gap and The Gain"
If you haven’t read the book “The Gap and the Gain” by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, I recommend it. Its part of a series that they’ve written together, the first is “Who Not How” and the third “10x is Easier than 2x”, but if you can only get one of those books, the Gap and the Gain is the one. The other two are still good, but are more focused on entrepreneurs and business people. Although the Gap and the Gain is also focused on entrepreneurs, the message in it about mindset is transferable to everyone.
The “Gap” represents the space between our current reality where we are today, and where we aspire to be. If you’re always looking at where you want to be and think that you’re not there yet, you’ll always feel a sense of desperation, of lack, of not being good enough.
The “Gain”, however, is the space between where you are today and where you’ve started. That is always the most positive space to be.
From that brief description it might sound like you should never have lofty aspirational goals and should always be reminiscing about the past, but that’s not the truth of the message. Yes, look back to appreciate what you’ve accomplished as you are working towards those lofty goals, because where you are today was once a lofty unreachable goal itself.
It is good to take stock of what you have accomplished, and recognize that yes, you were able to do those things you thought were impossible at one point, but now here you are. Celebrate those wins!
That is opposed to the “gap” mentality of “well yes, I’m here, but I wanted to be further along, and I’m not there yet so I’ve failed.”
That mentality helps no one. It means we’re always living in a sense of lack.
That is not what God means for our lives. In Psalm 20:4 it says “May he grant you your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.” God wouldn’t give us big dreams if he didn’t mean for us to one day get there, although the path may not be what we expect. We have to appreciate the journey we’re making along the way. That is the “gain.”
Where in our lives are we living in the gap? Where are we feeling those moments of “I wish I had this” or “I wish I had done that.”
I reflected on that just before I started writing this as I looked at my vision board and saw the picture of the tree in the forest I posted there. I thought about how much I like spending time walking in the woods, and how few times we got out for those beautiful walks in the woods this year. I can’t think of why we didn’t, and I realized I didn’t prioritize those moments this year. I felt in the gap, because of something that I didn’t do that I had wanted to do. The gain would be recognizing where I did spend that time: building relationships, growing skills, and travelling longer distances to visit family rather than taking short trips to local conservation areas for walks.
That was a gain I didn’t have before, as I avoided travel. Those moments with people are very precious to me, so I am in the gain for having had them. I recognize that I didn’t spend as much time in nature as I wanted to this year (or walking in general … definitely have to do more of that!) so I will prioritize that for next year, recognizing that missing that gave me that “gap” feeling.
Does it mean I’ll have to give up something else? Probably, but I can forego more TV time to gain back that time in the woods. With the fancy new bug hats … Oh yeah! This year I had that one day where I got bit by mosquitos so miserably… that probably had something to do with less time in the forest!
At any rate, there was a “gap” feeling, a reflection, and a solution.
So where in your life can you look at and do the same thing? It’s not an easy thing to reflect on at first, but give it a try with me.
For example, maybe you’re working towards a certificate or a degree but you’re not finished yet. Have you completed more work towards the degree? Did you get one or two courses done this year? Fantastic! Time is going to pass anyway, you may as well make the most of it.
Think about taking stock of what you have accomplished, before you start looking at where you are on your journey towards your goal. That way when you start looking forward, you’ve already tallied up all your amazing accomplishments. Even if you have to start way back at the beginning with learning how to crawl, how to walk, and how to tie your shoes.
You’ve got this!
PS If you want some help identifying your goals, check out my Goal Assessment Planner below: